Not even gonna use a throwaway because this is so funny I’m probably going to end up telling everybody I know anyway. After the embarrassment wears off a bit anyway.
The wife and I were laying in bed chatting, I was laying on my back and she was laying facing me with her head on my stomach, marveling occasionally at my grumbling guts. We were just kind of goofing around, and she made a comment about keeping things exciting.
So…this is where the fuck up starts. I decided to Dutch oven her, in an attempt to be funny. So…I grabbed the blankets, maneuvered a leg over her to pin her down as I tossed the covers over her and gave her hell…and then I sharted. Like…big time. With her head basically between my legs.
Bless her heart…my special lady just laughed with me while I cleaned up the mess and took a shower, and brought me some clean clothes. I picked a keeper…but talk about instant karma.
TLDR; tried to Dutch oven my wife and almost shat on her face.