TIL Carrie Fisher delivered a cow tongue inside a Tiffany box to a predatory producer who had assaulted her friend. She said, “The next delivery will be something of yours in a much smaller box!”
Little background here. I work with a large multi-billion corporation in logistics where we are largely commission based doing sales. Everyone here is in control over their own clients and book of business. We have managers, but they aren’t there to run your book or micromanage, they are there to help motivate you and find solutions to things you may have not run into yet. If I don’t come in one day or am late it doesn’t hurt anyone but myself, so I work as much as I possibly can. Being a little late shouldn’t be a big deal, but it got to the point a large chunk of the office was routinely showing up 10-15 minutes after start (I agree being late shouldn’t be a habit, but they are only hurting themselves, if they don’t hit numbers they will just get fired). Living in a central state and having mainly east coast clients means I am in the office about an hour before most people anyway. Well, my team manager enacted a rule where if you are more than 10 minutes late, you have to bring breakfast for the team (my team is 16 people). So everyone showed up on time last week, then Thursday rolls around and I called him to explain how my dog is puking and I will be 30 minutes to an hour late. He just replies via text I better bring breakfast for everyone. Even though I am historically there well before anyone, I was to become his first subject and example. I called to say no I cannot do that, Christmas is coming up and I have travel plans I need the money for. Well, he pushes back and says to bring it anyway. Now I’m fairly pissed as my team originally thought the rule was a joke and in no way enforceable… So an idea forms in my mind, I was not going to take this. I call up Einstein Bros and order 16 double egg and bacon sandwiches and a 16 large orange juices. When I make it in about an hour late, the team loves the gesture and my manager doesn’t say a word as he grabs his oj and sandwich. Now here’s where the fun comes in, our expense reports were due the next day in order to receive it by the following paycheck. I expense the full ~180 and submit it without saying a word to him. The branch manager called me in the next morning (we are on extremely good terms, very chill guy) and asks what the expense is for. When I explain team breakfast and the rule, and show him the texts from my manager he gets red in the face and tells me okay no problem it will get paid and to be on my way. Not 5 minutes later my manager gets a call and everyone could immediately see on his face him getting yelled at. He goes into the branch managers office and proceeds to get a long talking to about what he can and cannot enforce on employees. Looking extremely defeated he sat down and didn’t say a word the rest of the day. He had to send out an email to the team recalling the rule about breakfast and apologizing if he put undue pressure on us and that he just “wants us to succeed, and being late is not the way to do so.” The next week Monday morning, I brought in breakfast for the team again, a dozen and a half donuts for about $14.